BondFire #2: Optimizing Mindset proved to be a deeply personal and intimate session, with a panel that shared their own stories of struggle, resilience, and triumph. Among the panelists were June Goh, a single mother and accomplished makeup artist, Martin Williams, a counselor, and personal chef Chia Wee Loon.
Life often presents us with obstacles and challenges that can test our resilience and mindset. However, it is through these trials that we have the opportunity to grow and thrive. In a recent panel discussion, individuals from diverse backgrounds shared their personal stories of resilience and the power of a positive mindset. Their experiences highlighted the importance of mental toughness, adaptability, and having a support system in overcoming adversity and achieving personal growth.
As we delved into the challenges of life, the question of how to optimize our mindset emerged. Martin began by exploring the concept of being conscious of the value we derive from our actions, how to overcome anxieties that hinder our exploration of new possibilities, and the tools we can use to manage our expectations. The term “mindfulness” came to mind when considering this topic. While it may be easy to delve into a discussion of Carol Dweck’s Growth Mindset or Abraham Maslow’s theory of Self-Actualization, the panelists’ stories revealed that self-actualization is a luxury not everyone has the chance to pursue.
A story of tenacity by June Goh
I invited June to share her experiences and challenges, and she candidly spoke about overcoming obstacles such as her father’s death, becoming a teenage mother at 16, and navigating the difficulties of being a single mother in Singapore. At that time, marriage was not an option, and her daughter was considered illegitimate by the government. June faced numerous challenges, including obtaining employment and maternity leave rights. Housing, schooling, and the legal process for adopting her own daughter were also hurdles she had to overcome. She recounted the lack of support from friends who couldn’t relate to her experiences as a young mother. What stood out in her account was the resilience she displayed, going back to work just two weeks after giving birth, despite still recovering from childbirth. June highlighted the shame and lack of support she felt, which led her to keep her struggles hidden and push through on her own.
Later in life, June found success as an accomplished makeup artist in the film industry. Graduating from the Makeup Forever Academy, she has become renowned in Singapore and internationally. June’s journey from being a young single mother to pursuing her passion for self-discovery and unleashing her artistic talent led her to a fulfilling career.
In June’s case, she had no choice but to keep going. It was a matter of sink or swim. The unwavering vision she held for giving her daughter a meaningful life fueled her determination to find a way forward. But what was the source of strength for this 16-year-old? Was it simply the power of a mother’s love?
A Leap of Faith by Chia Wee Loon
Next, Wee Loon shared his journey as a self-taught private chef and business owner. He said, “After spending 15 years as a marine surveyor, my passion for cooking was ignited when I received a recipe book from a friend. In 2019, I took a leap of faith and entered the world of private dining.” Despite facing challenges during the COVID-19 pandemic, Wee Loon remained committed to his vision. He stressed the importance of managing expectations to achieve life satisfaction, acknowledging the financial challenges that came with starting a new business. Wee Loon’s courage in leaving the corporate world behind and pursuing his passion demonstrated the significance of a positive mindset and adaptability to change.
A Choice to Make by Martin Williams
Martin, a respected counselor in Singapore, brought his diverse experiences and interests to the discussion. He shared his personal journey of unexpectedly becoming a father while working on high-stress projects. Initially devastated, Martin made the decision to support his child, which led to new opportunities. His involvement in life coaching and counseling solidified his passion for helping others, eventually prompting him to pursue a career in counseling psychology. Martin stressed the importance of making choices when faced with difficult situations, referring to it as the “biting point” between personal growth and stagnation. He also emphasized the significance of having a support system that provides the courage to take risks and face challenges.
Martin highlighted that holding onto the past too tightly can contribute to feelings of depression, as change is an inevitable part of life. He expressed gratitude for his loving family, who provided practical support and served as a fallback during challenging times. This support system played a crucial role in his bravery and resilience.
The panelists’ stories exemplified the power of mindset optimization and the courage to face life’s challenges head-on. Through their experiences, it has become evident that the journey towards self-actualization and a fulfilling life requires determination, adaptability, and a support system to rely on.
It is crucial to have the support of a community beyond just our immediate family, as we are inherently social beings. Finding like-minded individuals who can offer support and understanding nurtures our courage. The simple act of “holding space” for someone conveys the message, “I’ve got your back.” This creates a safe environment where individuals can make mistakes and grow, cultivating the courage needed to embrace a Growth Mindset. Life’s purpose is not to eliminate stressors; on the contrary, it is through challenges and struggles that we develop resilience, providing us with a foundation of experiences that teach us our inherent limits. Paradoxically, this knowledge grants us the outward confidence to gauge how far we can stretch and aim for our goals.
Jerzy Gregorek, the weightlifter, once said, “Easy choices, hard life. Hard choices, easy life.” This emphasizes that it is only through experiencing failure and overcoming struggles that we learn the valuable lessons that prepare us for greater challenges. The quote also highlights the importance of choice. It is essential that we make decisions for ourselves rather than feeling coerced into them, as the latter can lead to future traumas that require resolution. Our choices hold power, and taking the time to reflect on our self-talk and determine which mindset was most effective in overcoming obstacles is crucial.
This emphasizes that it is only through experiencing failure and overcoming struggles that we learn the valuable lessons that prepare us for greater challenges. The quote also highlights the importance of choice. It is essential that we make decisions for ourselves rather than feeling coerced into them, as the latter can lead to future traumas that require resolution. Our choices hold power, and taking the time to reflect on our self-talk and determine which mindset was most effective in overcoming obstacles is crucial.
Motivational speaker Mel Robbins explains that confidence stems from within and is the willingness to take action despite our fears. Cultivating a mindset that acknowledges our ability to overcome obstacles and be proud of our achievements enables personal growth when facing challenges.
Easy choices, hard life. Hard choices, easy life
Jerzy Gregorek
Weightlifter
In the face of challenges, finding the courage to take action can be daunting. However, a simple yet powerful solution lies in gratitude. By applying a three-step process outlined by neuroscientist Dr. Tara Swart, we can tap into the transformative power of gratitude and find the confidence to take action.
- Step 1: Awareness – Recognizing the Driving Forces
To gather the courage to take action, it is important to distinguish between fear and our vision or goal. By becoming aware of the driving forces behind our actions, we can better understand the push factor of fear and the pull factor of our aspirations.
- Step 2: Visualization – Making Goals Tangible
Our brain often perceives new experiences as threats, triggering fear and stress. By visualizing our goals, we can trick our brain into treating them as if they have already been experienced. This makes it easier to take action when the real opportunity arises.
- Step 3: Gratitude – Empowering with Fulfillment
Gratitude serves as fear’s opposite, releasing oxytocin, the bonding hormone. This creates a sense of fulfillment and empowers us to take calculated risks. By cultivating gratitude, we can harness its power to overcome fear and embrace action.
The Importance of an Optimized Mindset
Cultivating an optimized mindset is crucial for navigating life’s challenges and achieving our goals. It is not a matter of chance but requires awareness and self-discipline. The practices of visualization and gratitude not only empower us to take action but also cultivate mindfulness, serving as our “fallback” in the face of adversity.
Harnessing the power of gratitude is a transformative tool that empowers us to gather the courage to take action. By following the three-step process of awareness, visualization, and gratitude, we can cultivate an optimized mindset that propels us towards our goals. Best of all, these practices are freely available to anyone willing to embrace them. So, let gratitude be our guiding light as we navigate life’s challenges and achieve our aspirations.
In conclusion, the panel discussion provided valuable insights into the transformative power of mindset optimization and the crucial role of a support system in navigating life’s challenges. By cultivating a positive mindset, making choices that align with our values, and surrounding ourselves with a strong support network, we can overcome obstacles and strive for personal growth and fulfilment.
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